“Sometimes life gets so big and heavy it seems like you wake up everyday in a fog. It’s your job to find a light and a way to navigate through that fog.”
“Hey Bernsie! I am going home to my family for the holidays and I am trying to figure out the best way to come out of the closet to my family. What do I do?” signed Charlie.
Lefty loosey, righty tighty, dude get the heck out of that closet. You might miss your flight. If you are worried about telling your family you are gay don’t fret. Your family and friends will always love and accept you for who you are. You’ll be fine. Happy Holidays Charlie.
“Hey Bernsie! My name is Cornelius, a 62 year old HedgeFund Manager. I have been involved with a 26 year old woman for about 3 months and she is now pressuring me to get married but I fear she only wants to get married for financial reasons. What should be my best course of action?” signed Cornelius Richards VII
Look up Golddigger on urbandictionary.com because that’s what she is. C’mon Cornelius, she told you she’s a dancer, I checked the Boston Ballet roster, known of the dancers are named Bubbles. Listen if you put a ring on her left hand be sure to put a pen in her right hand and make her sign a prenup.
“Hey Bernsie! What do you call a porcupine with no quills?” -signed a Bad Joke Teller
Pointless! Haha that’s actually one of my favorites.
“Hey Bernsie! It’s Clueless SWF, and I am writing to tell you I met a new guy on Match. We have gone on 3 nice dates but the past few nights he has sent me some very graphic picture messages. What should I do?”
It’s proper manners when someone texts you, you text back. (That reminds me, Dawn Leaness you owe me a text) If he crossed the line you have to lay down the law and it make clear that you are uncomfortable but if you are comfortable….When in Rome.
-Bern K. Prince
Hey Athletes, Visionaries, and Biliebers…….
“Hey Bernsie! I work with a person in my office with a strong case of BBO (Bad Body Odor). They are very nice but its distracting from work. What do I do?” signed Matt from the small cubicle office.
Fight Fire with Fire. Freshman year my college roommate didn’t smell that awesome so I do any laundry for 6 weeks. Don’t shower, bath, or use any deodorant for a week. Then you become the smelly guy which forces your coworker to open up dialogue about odor. It’s not the healthiest thing to do but sometimes you have to fight dirty.
“Hey Bernsie! Is it true that Crossfit makes your butt bigger? I don’t want my butt to get to big.” signed Kim Kardashian.
Yes your butt will get bigger doing Crossfit and that’s a great thing Kim. Your backside has broken hearts and made you millions so please please start doing Crossfit. Heck do it twice a day.
“Hey Bernsie! It’s me Clueless SWF, after numerous swipes and sites I finally met a really nice guy on Tinder. He took me to a nice Italian restaurant, he paid for dinner, and he was a complete gentleman. We are going to hang out at his place tonight for our 2nd date so my plan is to consummate the relationship and after tell him I love him! What do you think?? Romantic, right?”
Oh Boy! This a family friendly column so i have to keep this PG. First off I’m sure he would love to consummate the date but something tells me the only words you should use tonight that begin with letter L are lasagna and lingerie. If things don’t work out for you and this guy, I’ve got a coworker….Hey Chris Daly! She likes Italian food!
-Bern K. Prince
après (a′prā′; Fr ȧ pre′)
after: often used in hyphenated compounds: an après-ski party
“Hey Bernsie! It’s Clueless SWF writing again. I met a new guy on Tinder and I really like him but there’s one slight problem…every time we go to dinner I have to pay. I guess he has all his money tied up in a Start Up?! He swears he will pay me back so I don’t complain. His profile says he likes puppies so I know he’s a keeper. What do I do?” Signed Clueless SWF.
Ohhhh Clueless SWF, your my favorite. Give the guy one more chance but if it doesn’t work out for you and the Donald Trump of the dating world I’ve got friend named Dave Finn. You can buy him dinner instead.
“Hey Bernsie! I heard a rumor that Ben Affleck owned your gym? Is it true? If it is tell Ben I loved all his movies including Reindeer Games.” signed Gone Girl.
Ben Affleck?! No the handsome guy in the office that owns the gym, his name is Josh Plosker. Reindeer games is an awful movie by the way.
‘Hey Bernsie! Is it rue that you hung out with Mark Wahlberg and and Mila Kunis for an entire night?” Signed Erin Boyer.
What’s up EB. Yes it’s true. I was in line for the premiere of the movie TED, when I was pulled out of line by an member of security and brought straight to VIP. Apparently they thought I was the famous comedian Kevin Hart. 3 hours I think Mila was suspicious so I went to my go to joke….What do you call a computer that sings….A-DELL! Mark Wahlberg laughed so hard he spit his Vodka all over The Funky Bunch. After that we hung, out, popped bottles, and did what A list celebrities do.
-Bern K. Prince
These videos are from one of my favorite movies and is not to be seen in front of children or anyone that is sensitive to content. You have been warned….
“You don’t have to start off great but you have to start in order to be great.”
The letters have been pouring in so I know the public needs my help.
“Hey Bernise! How come no one has been able to catch the Lochness Monster?” signed Niles from London.
Gilbert, I have gone international! That’s an easy answer, it’s because he’s a Monster. Isn’t the Lochess Monster like 11,000 pounds. If you want a pet get a dog, if you want to see a monster come to 7pm and watch John Brown lift, either way eat some tea and crumpets and listen to the new U2 album. It’s free on the cloud.
“Hey Bernsie! I met this amazing guy on Tinder, we hung out once but since then he only texts me after midnight. I try calling him during the day but he never picks up. You think he ‘s still interested?” signed clueless SWF.
Oh he’s interested! I can’t go into detail because this a professional column but if things don’t work out with Prince Charming’s Tinder profile I ve got a friend named Dan Smith.
“Hey Bernsie! Who are the 5 greatest rappers of all time?” signed Cecyl.
What’s going on Cecyl! That’s another easy one. The 5 greatest rappers are Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! Dylan!
-Bern K. Prince
This video is just mean to be funny. If you take offense easily or you are around children please don’t watch
“Speak only if it improves upon the silence” Gandi
We have decided to open up the blog to the public. I am here to answer all of your berning questions (Hey AJ, see what I just did there). All you have to do is sent me an email with the title Hey Bernsie!. Here are a few examples of some of the letters I have already recieved…..
“Hey Bernsie! lately my knee aches when I squat. What am I doing wrong?” signed Miley
Well Miley when you squat you are supposed to drive your knees out. From what I see from twerking they knees come in. Try squatting the right way and stop hanging out with Robin Thicke even tho Blurred Lines still makes me tap my foot when I hear it.
“Hey Bernsie! How do I cure a hangover?” Signed 7th year in college and not getting a PhD.
Well I don’t have a time machine or a DeLorean but I would start with the night before. Just because the song Shots comes on doesn’t mean you have to do shots. Put down the Bud Lights and pick up a book.
“Hey Bernsie! What does Justin do with his hair to make it look so amazing?” Signed Angelo Gala.
Angelo! Just ask Justin at the next staff meeting. I don’t have all the answers but his hair is magnificent.
If you need help or just someone to talk to about anything please feel free to email me. It would be selfish of me to keep all this wisdom to myself….What’s that…We’ve got one more question….
“Hey Bernsie! What’s the Comp WOD this Friday?” signed Austin Reed
The WOD for Friday Oct 31 at 7pm is….
Nightmare On Columbus Ave
9 Minute AMRAP
3 Power Cleans
3 Hang Squat Cleans
– Men 135#
– Women 95#
*All 9 Barbell movements must be unbroken
*3 burpee penalty is assigned if the complex is broken
-Bern K. Prince
CEO of Crossfit Red Planet
Author of Hey Bernsie!
Full Time Fitness Professional
On Friday October 17th for the Kettle Ball some of our sponsors will be Tito’s Vodka, WoodChuck Hard Cider, and a few different Liqueurs from Bacardi. Serving all these drinks will be celebrity bartender Justin Wright (There’s more to Justin than cool hair and Barbells)! He will be making some of his signature cocktails for everyone to sample. Bring cash please and not for the drinks but to tip Justin. You are allowed to bring a guest,multiple guests, friends, family, fellow crossfitters, future crossfitters, and even your cousin twice removed as long as they dress well. We are asking people to RSVP thru Facebook (FJ keep killing it on social media) or email me at email@example.com that you are coming. We need to know roughly how many people are coming per example Jane Doe + 1 RSVP for the Kettle Ball will do.
This Friday night, Steve from Snap Top Market will be by night classes at Columbus Ave from 5pm to 8pm with food and samples from his store. I know a lot of people are doing well with the Paleo challenge this month and Snap Top Market is a small store on Columbus Ave with fresh produce, veggies, and meats perfect to help keep you on track.
-Bern K. Prince
Both these videos are for comedy purposes only….you have been warned…..
Hey Athletes, Bloggers, and Paleo Challenge Participants,
My Coworker and Friend has started her very own Blog called Somefashionsomefitness. Its a collection of all things Sweaty & Stylish. Page will also be leading the Happy Hour This Thursday October 2nd from 6pm to 8pm at The Lincoln in South Boston. You can swing by and chat with her about her blog, about fashion, and about how to still have a good time while eating Paleo because just like most of you she is doing the Paleo Challenge as well.
Friday October 17th will be the First ever Reebok Crossfit BackBay KettleBall. The Ball will take place at 209 Columbus Ave from 730 to 930pm. At 930pm on the nose we will move to a bar (details are still being worked out on which place) and have the rest of the night to mingle. The rules of The KettleBall are simple. It’s a Black Tie preferred affair , so Tuxedos, 3piece Suits, and Sports Coats for Men, and Ladies, formal dresses, heels, fur shawls, and gaudy jewelry. We have already confirmed Tito’s Vodka as a sponsor (So there will be adult beverages) and we are looking for more sponsors, preferably of food and beverage. We are looking to make this as organized as possible so there will be RSVP lists and we are asking everyone to show up on time (Barrows, I know you like to make an entrance haha).
-Bern K. Prince
I would like to introduce you to the Dark Knight’s greatest nemesis….. Bane Cat!!!!!!!!
Hey Athletes, Socialites, Competitors, and Superheroes……
Mark your calendars because Friday October 17th will be the 1st ever Reebok Crossfit Backbay KETTLE BALL. A black tie affair not to be missed.
The fall not only brings formals but competitions. This Sunday September 28th at Crossfit Torque in Foxboro we have 5 teams from the gym competing in the #Torque Nation Devastation. Good luck to Danielle Martin, Cass, Finn, Cam, Sam Axon, Jacky Goode, Marco. FJ. Jenna Sherm, and Whitney Kemp (If I missed someone please leave a comment) and we encourage people to go to Foxboro and cheer them on. I know some people are looking for rides and offering rides so email me so I can get some type of car pool going.
Since we have opened the gym we have posted about several charities with a positive response to all of them.
This Sunday I will be doing the 2014 Walk to End Alzheimers. The Lovely Mrs. Prince (Mi Madre) has Alzheimer’s and I’m not posting this for sympathy I am posting to let you know if you want to donate to the walk big or small click here, and I am also posting that in the future I might do some more fundraiser to help Alzheimers because I am biased towards this disease.
On Friday at 7pm at 209 Columbus Ave one of the WODs will be …
Smokey And The Bandit
75 Toes To Bar
Every Minute on the minute 5 Wall Balls
-Bern K. Prince
“When planning to take over an Island, the 1st thing you do is burn down all the ships so that way there is no chance for retreating for YOU or your enemy.” Mark Cuban
This Video is because I love Samuel Jackson
The WODs This Friday September 19th at 209 Columbus Ave will be all of the WODs from the Beantown Throwdown this weekend. Get a team of 3 or I will assign them on Friday, come down and WOD. One of the WODs will be…..
10 Overhead/Front Squats, 115#
*12 minute cap
Each athlete begins at a different station, and cannot move onto the next until all members of the team have completed their task. The flow of the workout is from squats, to pull-ups, to double-unders, and may not be altered. Each member of the team will perform each task 3 times. The score is total time for all 3 athletes to complete 3 full rotations.
After words there will be a social at 209 Columbus from 8 to 856pm (I have to be precise on time Cam) At 8 56pm we will be heading over to RattleSnake at 384 Boylston St (Big Donn! Holla at Alan for me).
On Sunday, September 21st, starting at 9am we will have 3 teams competing in the Beantown Throwdown at Crossfit Fenway. It’s a special competition for us because its the 1st competition we did as a gym. It’s special because it’s Lauren’s 1st comp since the birth of her child, it’s the 1st comp since the regionals that Taylor, Justin, and Angelo will be in together. It’s special because we want and asking for all of you to show up, be rowdy, be loud, in the famous words of Tom Brady “get lubed up” and represent the gym. If you are new to the gym come take part in the weekend and if you’ve been a member for awhile come by all weekend and hang out.
- Bern K. Prince
“Don’t care whose at the top of the stairs I’m stepping up.” Lil Wayne