après (a′prā′; Fr ȧ pre′)
after: often used in hyphenated compounds: an après-ski party
“Hey Bernsie! It’s Clueless SWF writing again. I met a new guy on Tinder and I really like him but there’s one slight problem…every time we go to dinner I have to pay. I guess he has all his money tied up in a Start Up?! He swears he will pay me back so I don’t complain. His profile says he likes puppies so I know he’s a keeper. What do I do?” Signed Clueless SWF.
Ohhhh Clueless SWF, your my favorite. Give the guy one more chance but if it doesn’t work out for you and the Donald Trump of the dating world I’ve got friend named Dave Finn. You can buy him dinner instead.
“Hey Bernsie! I heard a rumor that Ben Affleck owned your gym? Is it true? If it is tell Ben I loved all his movies including Reindeer Games.” signed Gone Girl.
Ben Affleck?! No the handsome guy in the office that owns the gym, his name is Josh Plosker. Reindeer games is an awful movie by the way.
‘Hey Bernsie! Is it rue that you hung out with Mark Wahlberg and and Mila Kunis for an entire night?” Signed Erin Boyer.
What’s up EB. Yes it’s true. I was in line for the premiere of the movie TED, when I was pulled out of line by an member of security and brought straight to VIP. Apparently they thought I was the famous comedian Kevin Hart. 3 hours I think Mila was suspicious so I went to my go to joke….What do you call a computer that sings….A-DELL! Mark Wahlberg laughed so hard he spit his Vodka all over The Funky Bunch. After that we hung, out, popped bottles, and did what A list celebrities do.
-Bern K. Prince
These videos are from one of my favorite movies and is not to be seen in front of children or anyone that is sensitive to content. You have been warned….
“You don’t have to start off great but you have to start in order to be great.”
The letters have been pouring in so I know the public needs my help.
“Hey Bernise! How come no one has been able to catch the Lochness Monster?” signed Niles from London.
Gilbert, I have gone international! That’s an easy answer, it’s because he’s a Monster. Isn’t the Lochess Monster like 11,000 pounds. If you want a pet get a dog, if you want to see a monster come to 7pm and watch John Brown lift, either way eat some tea and crumpets and listen to the new U2 album. It’s free on the cloud.
“Hey Bernsie! I met this amazing guy on Tinder, we hung out once but since then he only texts me after midnight. I try calling him during the day but he never picks up. You think he ‘s still interested?” signed clueless SWF.
Oh he’s interested! I can’t go into detail because this a professional column but if things don’t work out with Prince Charming’s Tinder profile I ve got a friend named Dan Smith.
“Hey Bernsie! Who are the 5 greatest rappers of all time?” signed Cecyl.
What’s going on Cecyl! That’s another easy one. The 5 greatest rappers are Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! Dylan!
-Bern K. Prince
This video is just mean to be funny. If you take offense easily or you are around children please don’t watch
“Speak only if it improves upon the silence” Gandi
We have decided to open up the blog to the public. I am here to answer all of your berning questions (Hey AJ, see what I just did there). All you have to do is sent me an email with the title Hey Bernsie!. Here are a few examples of some of the letters I have already recieved…..
“Hey Bernsie! lately my knee aches when I squat. What am I doing wrong?” signed Miley
Well Miley when you squat you are supposed to drive your knees out. From what I see from twerking they knees come in. Try squatting the right way and stop hanging out with Robin Thicke even tho Blurred Lines still makes me tap my foot when I hear it.
“Hey Bernsie! How do I cure a hangover?” Signed 7th year in college and not getting a PhD.
Well I don’t have a time machine or a DeLorean but I would start with the night before. Just because the song Shots comes on doesn’t mean you have to do shots. Put down the Bud Lights and pick up a book.
“Hey Bernsie! What does Justin do with his hair to make it look so amazing?” Signed Angelo Gala.
Angelo! Just ask Justin at the next staff meeting. I don’t have all the answers but his hair is magnificent.
If you need help or just someone to talk to about anything please feel free to email me. It would be selfish of me to keep all this wisdom to myself….What’s that…We’ve got one more question….
“Hey Bernsie! What’s the Comp WOD this Friday?” signed Austin Reed
The WOD for Friday Oct 31 at 7pm is….
Nightmare On Columbus Ave
9 Minute AMRAP
3 Power Cleans
3 Hang Squat Cleans
– Men 135#
– Women 95#
*All 9 Barbell movements must be unbroken
*3 burpee penalty is assigned if the complex is broken
-Bern K. Prince
CEO of Crossfit Red Planet
Author of Hey Bernsie!
Full Time Fitness Professional
“Wake up every day with an intensity unknown to mankind.”
Hey Athletes, Visionaries, Socialites, and Paleo eaters……
Due to an awesome response we have extended the hours of The KettleBall . The Ball starts at 6pm at 209 Columbus Ave of October 17th. Here are all the details….
- Paleo treats will be provided by one our awesome members Kenzie aka Cave Girl in the City who balance food, fashion and everything in between. Click here to read what she has to offer.
- WoodChuck will provide cans of Hard Cider.
- Bacardi is providing 3 different kinds of high volume liquor.
- Titos is providing cases of Vodka
- Coach Justin will be tending bar all night. He accepts cash for tips.
- Classes will still be going on so for those who want to take class you can still come by
- You can bring guests so please RSVP either through Facebook or email at firstname.lastname@example.org
- Proper dress required
The after party Venue has been confirmed. The after party will at Tico on 222 Berkeley Street Boston, MA 02116 at 9:30. We will be leaving the gym at 9:30pm sharp (That’s right Drew). We are asking people to arrive as early as possible and we will go straight to Tico after for more fun and festivities.
-Bern K. Prince
On Friday October 17th for the Kettle Ball some of our sponsors will be Tito’s Vodka, WoodChuck Hard Cider, and a few different Liqueurs from Bacardi. Serving all these drinks will be celebrity bartender Justin Wright (There’s more to Justin than cool hair and Barbells)! He will be making some of his signature cocktails for everyone to sample. Bring cash please and not for the drinks but to tip Justin. You are allowed to bring a guest,multiple guests, friends, family, fellow crossfitters, future crossfitters, and even your cousin twice removed as long as they dress well. We are asking people to RSVP thru Facebook (FJ keep killing it on social media) or email me at email@example.com that you are coming. We need to know roughly how many people are coming per example Jane Doe + 1 RSVP for the Kettle Ball will do.
This Friday night, Steve from Snap Top Market will be by night classes at Columbus Ave from 5pm to 8pm with food and samples from his store. I know a lot of people are doing well with the Paleo challenge this month and Snap Top Market is a small store on Columbus Ave with fresh produce, veggies, and meats perfect to help keep you on track.
-Bern K. Prince
Both these videos are for comedy purposes only….you have been warned…..
Hey Athletes, Bloggers, and Paleo Challenge Participants,
My Coworker and Friend has started her very own Blog called Somefashionsomefitness. Its a collection of all things Sweaty & Stylish. Page will also be leading the Happy Hour This Thursday October 2nd from 6pm to 8pm at The Lincoln in South Boston. You can swing by and chat with her about her blog, about fashion, and about how to still have a good time while eating Paleo because just like most of you she is doing the Paleo Challenge as well.
Friday October 17th will be the First ever Reebok Crossfit BackBay KettleBall. The Ball will take place at 209 Columbus Ave from 730 to 930pm. At 930pm on the nose we will move to a bar (details are still being worked out on which place) and have the rest of the night to mingle. The rules of The KettleBall are simple. It’s a Black Tie preferred affair , so Tuxedos, 3piece Suits, and Sports Coats for Men, and Ladies, formal dresses, heels, fur shawls, and gaudy jewelry. We have already confirmed Tito’s Vodka as a sponsor (So there will be adult beverages) and we are looking for more sponsors, preferably of food and beverage. We are looking to make this as organized as possible so there will be RSVP lists and we are asking everyone to show up on time (Barrows, I know you like to make an entrance haha).
-Bern K. Prince
I would like to introduce you to the Dark Knight’s greatest nemesis….. Bane Cat!!!!!!!!
Hey Athletes, Socialites, Competitors, and Superheroes……
Mark your calendars because Friday October 17th will be the 1st ever Reebok Crossfit Backbay KETTLE BALL. A black tie affair not to be missed.
The fall not only brings formals but competitions. This Sunday September 28th at Crossfit Torque in Foxboro we have 5 teams from the gym competing in the #Torque Nation Devastation. Good luck to Danielle Martin, Cass, Finn, Cam, Sam Axon, Jacky Goode, Marco. FJ. Jenna Sherm, and Whitney Kemp (If I missed someone please leave a comment) and we encourage people to go to Foxboro and cheer them on. I know some people are looking for rides and offering rides so email me so I can get some type of car pool going.
Since we have opened the gym we have posted about several charities with a positive response to all of them.
This Sunday I will be doing the 2014 Walk to End Alzheimers. The Lovely Mrs. Prince (Mi Madre) has Alzheimer’s and I’m not posting this for sympathy I am posting to let you know if you want to donate to the walk big or small click here, and I am also posting that in the future I might do some more fundraiser to help Alzheimers because I am biased towards this disease.
On Friday at 7pm at 209 Columbus Ave one of the WODs will be …
Smokey And The Bandit
75 Toes To Bar
Every Minute on the minute 5 Wall Balls
-Bern K. Prince
“When planning to take over an Island, the 1st thing you do is burn down all the ships so that way there is no chance for retreating for YOU or your enemy.” Mark Cuban
This Video is because I love Samuel Jackson
Medball Half Moons
Pull Ups (work negatives or strict with bands if you don’t have them)
WOD 1: Gymnastics Baseline 1: 12 min AMRAP of:
12 Pull Ups
12 Kettlebell Swings (24/16)
WOD 2: Gymnastics Baseline 2: 12 min AMRAP of:
2 Muscle Ups
4 Handstand Push Ups
8 Kettlebell Swings (32/24)
The advantages and disadvantages…
The disadvantages of the GRID are plentiful. It is unknown and small in size. The GRID is currently financially unstable. There may not be a team near you. The international participation is fractionally small. And the very big and obvious one; the GRID has to deal with being a subpar entity to the juggernaut that is CrossFit.
The advantages of the GRID are just about everything else. Did you enjoy watching your friends compete at Regionals? How about having to go three different days for the full experience? How about waiting several hours between events? How about having to watch the same 25 minute workout again and again? How about having plans that weekend and missing out entirely? How about being there for only one person and not caring about any other part? How about trying to keep track of the competition with 8 individual athletes on the floor during the individual events? How about trying to keep track of the competition with 48 team athletes out on the floor at the same time?
The GRID is small in size and hopefully this will only be temporary (just like it was for CrossFit). Fortunately, what the GRID lacks in size, it makes up exponentially in experience.
Ideally, it’s only a matter of time,
The WODs This Friday September 19th at 209 Columbus Ave will be all of the WODs from the Beantown Throwdown this weekend. Get a team of 3 or I will assign them on Friday, come down and WOD. One of the WODs will be…..
10 Overhead/Front Squats, 115#
*12 minute cap
Each athlete begins at a different station, and cannot move onto the next until all members of the team have completed their task. The flow of the workout is from squats, to pull-ups, to double-unders, and may not be altered. Each member of the team will perform each task 3 times. The score is total time for all 3 athletes to complete 3 full rotations.
After words there will be a social at 209 Columbus from 8 to 856pm (I have to be precise on time Cam) At 8 56pm we will be heading over to RattleSnake at 384 Boylston St (Big Donn! Holla at Alan for me).
On Sunday, September 21st, starting at 9am we will have 3 teams competing in the Beantown Throwdown at Crossfit Fenway. It’s a special competition for us because its the 1st competition we did as a gym. It’s special because it’s Lauren’s 1st comp since the birth of her child, it’s the 1st comp since the regionals that Taylor, Justin, and Angelo will be in together. It’s special because we want and asking for all of you to show up, be rowdy, be loud, in the famous words of Tom Brady “get lubed up” and represent the gym. If you are new to the gym come take part in the weekend and if you’ve been a member for awhile come by all weekend and hang out.
- Bern K. Prince
“Don’t care whose at the top of the stairs I’m stepping up.” Lil Wayne
What: Spartan Race
When: November 15
Where: Fenway Park!!
Pre WOD: 20 mins to find:
3RM Hang Power Clean
3RM Hang Power Snatch
WOD 1: Complicated girls 1: 10 rounds for time of:
3 Power Clean and Jerk (135/95)
8 Push Ups
12 min cap
Last done 08/19/2013
WOD 2: Complicated Girls 2: 10 rounds for time of:
3 Power Snatch (135/95)
2 Handstand Push Ups
12 min cap
Last done 08/19/2013
The home-team atmosphere…
The big CrossFit events are fun. Tons of people go, you get to see your friends compete and also some total studs throw down. Once it is all over, everyone kinda moves on with their lives and the extravaganza is over as is the season for everyone save a small group of people. After the Boston Iron match, I couldn’t wait to watch it again and share with everyone there the same camaraderie we had in favor of the Boston Iron. I am not saying we all hated the Miami Surge (not saying we didn’t) , but it was impressive just how quickly we all got behind our home team. It was spectacular to watch the crowd groan in a loss, but celebrate in a victory. This part, this direct link with the competition and the competitors, is missing in the CrossFit competitions, and it is definitely a key component in what makes the GRID outstanding